Katballs Humor

Last updated:- 23rd April`11

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Best Regards
Katballs.

In this world of whole ups & downs, we actually need some instant refreshers. so we, Balvinder (Balls) & Chiraag (Kat) the founder of katballs humor makes an attempt to give you something different which can be termed as jokes of next level........ so lets taste the essence of katballs humor....

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Who is the first person to use 4G?

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Anil Kapoor...


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confused...pata hai kaise????


aG.....oG.....Lo G.......Suno G..


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hamare dil mein hain aap ke liye chahat

gaur farmaiye

hamare dil mein hai aap ke liye chahat

CID ke bad 11baje aata hai AAHAT

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Agar tyre ghumega to gadi b zarur hilegi

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Agar tyre ghumega to gadi b zarur hilegi

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ACP Pradyuman ne kaha tumne khun kiya hai saza to tumhe zarur milegi.. :D

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Agle Vasant Mein Yeh Kali Jaroor Khilegi....

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Agle Vasant Mein Yeh Kali Jaroor Khilegi....
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Agle Vasant Mein Yeh Kali Jaroor Khilegi....

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Daya, Khuni Ko Us K Kartutko Ki Saja Jaroor Milegi..!!!!!

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Party ke Menu mein Kurkure aur lays hai..........






Party ke Menu mein Kurkure aur lays hai.........















Acp Pradyuman ne kaha abhijit, lagta hai kidnapping ka case hai......

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CID ke team ne SONY tv se naata jod liya...........

CID ke team ne SONY tv se naata jod liya...........















CID ke team ne SONY tv se naata jod liya...........













Jis kamre mein mana raha tha abhijit suhagraat, daya ne uska bhi darwaaza tod diya.....

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CID V/S 3IDIOTS

Behti hawa sa tha woh, Udti Patang sa tha woh..........

Behti hawa sa tha woh, Udti Patang sa tha woh..........















Behti hawa sa tha woh, Udti Patang sa tha woh..........
















Isiliye shayad Acp ne Kaha Daya, Kahan gaye usse dhundo......

- CONTRIBUTED BY NAVIN RAJPUT


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Rab ne bana di jodi .......
Rab ne bana di jodi .......







Rab ne bana di jodi .......








Rab ne bana di jodi .......













Raanvijay ne kaha, sorry u cant be a roadie.........

CONTRIBUTED BY NAVIN RAJPUT

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CHAIWALA TO A GIRL -

Bholi se surat, aankhon mein masti, dur khadi sharmaye....Ae haye...................


GIRL TO CHAIWALA -

Kaali se surat, haathon mein ketli, dur khada chillay....chai chai........


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Ek lady ke delivery ke time doctor ne uska dil nikaal liya.......


guess..... y???




................


...........







socho socho..........


bohot simple hai..........













kyunki..................




"DIL TOH BACCHA HAI JI"

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Dr to Patient - Tabiyat Kaisi hai???

Patient - Pehle se zyaada kharab hai.



Dr - Dawai kha li thi kya??

Patient - Nahi dawai ki shishi toh bhari hui thi.


Dr- I mean dawai le li thi??

Patient - Ji, Aapne di to maine le li.



Dr - Bevkuf, dawai pi li thi??

Patient - Na, dawai toh laal thi.



Dr - Haramzaade, dawai ko pi lia tha kya??

Patient - Na Dr Sahab, peelia toh mujhe tha.....................

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Mehngai ke is daur mein karna padta hai karcho pe kaabu......


Mehngai ke is daur mein karna padta hai karcho pe kaabu......






Mehngai ke is daur mein karna padta hai karcho pe kaabu......















Mehngai ke is daur mein karna padta hai karcho pe kaabu......














Ek chutki sindhur ki kimaat tum kya jaano RAMESH BABU...............

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Mujhko pasand hai Jhinga.....
Tujko pasand hai Jhinga.....



Mujhko pasand hai Jhinga.....
Tujko pasand hai Jhinga.....



Mujhko pasand hai Jhinga.....
Tujko pasand hai Jhinga.....



















Mujhko pasand hai Jhinga.....
Tujko pasand hai Jhinga.....














RINGA RINGA, RINGA RINGA...........

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Horror PJ -


Muje thi uske pyaar ki chahat......


Muje thi uske pyaar ki chahat......






Muje thi uske pyaar ki chahat......
wah wah




Muje thi uske pyaar ki chahat......




















Aur voh dekh rahi thi sony pe aahat................


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Budhe ke chehre par aaj bhi chamak hai....


wah wah.....


Budhe ke chehre par aaj bhi chamak hai....







Budhe ke chehre par aaj bhi chamak hai....




















Budhe ke chehre par aaj bhi chamak hai....


















Lagta hai uske toothpaste mein namak hai!!!!!

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bar mein baithke pee liya do char pack.......

waah waah


bar mein baithke pee liya do char pack.......

waah waah












bar mein baithke pee liya do char pack.......

waah waah








Simon go back....


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Mere dil mein laga, mujhe houa pain.......


waah waah









Mere dil mein laga, mujhe houa pain.......


waah waah





















Mere dil mein laga, mujhe houa pain.......


waah waah




















Give me some sunshine, give me some rain...................


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Brad Pitt and Vidya Balan got married
After marriage, lots of students gather at their home ..... why ???

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because her name becomes Vidya Pitt (vidyapeeth)

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rahul gandhi --> mom, aapaki wajah se meri shaadi nahi ho paaa rahi......... ......... ......... ......... ......

sonia gandhi --> kyun beta???????? ????????

rahul gandhi --> har taraf to likha hai ki sonia ko bahumat do

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BRUCE LEE was a great man

But after his sister gave birth to a baby he became an ordinary man...

why?

Because he became

MAMU LEE!

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Ballu and Oscar are discussing-- -------
Oscar----- "if i drink coffee, i ca'nt sleep!!!!"
Ballu----- "with me it's the opposite.if i sleep i can't drink coffee."

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One day Ravan went to a disco....... ......... ......... ..

aur wahan jaakar woh behosh ho gaya ............ .......

kyun???????? ????????? ??

kyun???????? ??????










bcoz it was written on the gate that "entry fee Rs.1500 per head"

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who made Ganesh to Anesh...????






ThinK......








Think......


























okay.....

" KAILASH KHER "

tere naam se " G " loon....

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Ek din ek aadmi apne naukar ko Priya Gold biscuit laane bolta hai. To
naukar biscuit laane Pakistan jaata hai.
Kyon??????




Think....... ......




Give up??






Coz...
"Priya Gold biscuit. Haq se maango.."

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Ek nadi thi......
uske upar ek pull bana hua tha.....
pull par bahut saari ladkiyan khadi thi......
sab ki sab ek hi ladke ki deewani thi.....
Guess who was the lucky guy??????
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Keep Guessing.... ..
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Chalo yaar....the answer is














"KISNA"
Jo hai albela mad naino wala...
jiski diwani BRIDGE ki har bala.....
woh kisna hai

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if a CAT crosses ur way,

when u are going some where,

then what does it mean????????


?????????

?????????

?????????

?????????



?????????



????????? ?



?





?





?


it means that the Cat is also going somewhere.

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AND FINALLY THE LAST ONE

Why are Indian husbands called "MADE OF SILVER"

And

Why are American husbands called "MADE OF GOLD"


Socho

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Thoda sur Socho

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Socho Socho....

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Nahi Aata


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Bcoz

Indian wives call their husband "A g" ( Scientific Symbol for Silver)

American wives call their husband "A u" ( Scientific Symbol for Gold)

Duniya ki sab se dard bahri shayari...

Pesh hai Duniya ki sab se dard bahri shayari....



dil mein chubhi sui....








dil mein chubhi sui....




dil mein chubhi sui....






dil mein chubhi sui....




uui uui uui uii uui uuui uuui!!!!!!!!!

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aasman ko alvida kaise karoge...?
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simple hai
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.TATA SKY...!!!!

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ek baar ek jaghe saari mother in laws ki race ho rahi thi to us waqt us jaghe kon sa song chal raha tha?
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race saason ki........race dhdkan ki

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Doctor 2 Ballu: Oye sardarji,humne tumhare saare tests ki reports dekh li hain.Apki kidney fail ho gayi hai.

Ballu 2 Doctor: Shit kitne numbaron se..





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1 ladki ko calll aya

ladki-hello
caller-prakash hai kya?
ladki-nahi idhar koi prakash nahi hai
caller-to fir khidki kholo....................

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Teacher : bacho batao chand aur dharti me kay rishta hai?
Atul: bhai bahan ka (chand hamara mama hai aur dharti ma)

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trainees

A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.....

On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone:
"Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!"

The voice from the other side responded:
"You fool; you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?"

"No" replied the trainee.

"It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!"

The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are talking to,you IDIOT?"

"No!" replied the Managing Director angrily.

"Thank God!" replied the trainee and put down the phone!

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Musharaf, Vajpayee, Madhuri Dixit and Margaret
Thatcher are sitting
in a train. The train suddenly goes thru a tunnel and
it gets completely
dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a
slap! The train comes
out of the tunnel. The woman and Vajpayee are sitting
there looking
perplexed. Musharaf is bent over holding his face,
which is red from an
apparent slap.

All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says
anything. Thatcher is
thinking: "These Pakistanis are all crazy after
Madhuri. Musharaf must have
tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she
slapped him."

Madhuri is thinking: "Musharaf must have moved to kiss
me, and kissed
Margaret instead and got slapped."

Musharaf is thinking: "Damn it, Vajpayee must have
tried to kiss Madhuri,
she thought it was me and slapped me."

Vajpayee is thinking: "If this train goes through
another tunnel, I could
make another kissing sound and slap Musharaf again."

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*A sher in the fond memory of Himesh Chammiya*

Aaj kal ek naya ubharta sitaara TV par nazar aata hai…
Jo apne muh ke jagah apne ‘naak se gaane gaata hai’…

Deliver karta hai ek ke peeche ek gaane super hits…
Songs that can bring to you ‘a terrible attack of fits’…

Paas aana to chodo, bhaage ladkiyaan dooor dooor…
Jab Khajoor gaata hai “13 13 13 suroooooooooooor”..

Ulti aayi mujhko aur pet kharab ho jaaye mera…
Jab bhi saala sunta hoon “naam hai 13 13 13”…

Ek saath jaise usko kaat liya ho kutte aur saapne…
Aise cheekh cheekh ke gaata hai “Aashiq banaya aapne”…

Aakhir aur kitna sunenge ham is khajway ke gaane…
Meri baat maano aur isko sunghaao dhaturay ke daane…

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Aaisa Kaunsa Umpire hai jisne apni pehle match mein match fixing ki aur pakda gaya aur match tabhi hi bandh ho gayi?????

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.Socho????? bohot famous umpire hai!!!
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simple hai......
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Tuffy!!!!!! Hum Aapke hai kaun ka!!!!!!


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Sholay mein double role kisne kiya tha!!!

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think!!!!.
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.KING GEORGE!!! (Coin tha, jo dono side heads tha!! woh coin mein dono side king george tha)


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Auto Kaunse cast ki hoti hai????????

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deep thinking karo.
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Simple...........GUJARATI

KYUNKI USKA SURNAME HAI "rickSHAH"!!!!!!!


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teri surat dekhke mere dil pe na raha kabu

gaur farmaiyega

teri surat dekhke mere dil pe na raha kabu





pak chic pak raja babu haaaaaaaa



- Contributed by Abhishek (Bholu)


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Kal jab mile thhe....
to dil mein hua ek sound.
Aur aaj mile to kehte hain...
your file not found!!!

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Jo muddat se hota aaya hai,
woh repeat kar doonga...
Tu naa mili to apni zindagi
ctrl+alt+delete kar doonga...

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Laakhon honge nigaah mein
kabhi mujhe bhi pick karo...
Mere pyaar ke icon pe
kabhi to double-click karo...

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Aisa bhi nahin hai ke
I don't like your face...
Par dil ke storage mein
No more disk space...

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Ghar se jab tum nikle
pehen ke reshmi gown...
Jaane kitne dilon ka
ho gaya Server down...

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Dibbe Mein Dibba, Dibbe mein Khargos. .........



Wah Wah.........


Dibbe Mein Dibba, Dibbe mein Khargos.......


Dibbe Mein Dibba, Dibbe mein Khargos........



Gajodhar ne aankh maari, Puspa behos!!!!!


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Hawa mein bindas ud raha tha galib?????????


Wah Wah..... Wah Wah

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Hawa mein Aazad ud raha tha galib?????????.
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Bahot Khub......
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Hawa mein bettab ud raha tha galib?????????.
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..Aage bhi to bolo....
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Ruk gayi hawa

Gir gaya galib....... ???????

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Whats the opposite of Real??
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Its COCONUT....
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Y....Socho...???
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Becuase it is 'Na-Real' .

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Sardar Cycle K Break Hath Me Lekar Nach Raha Tha.


Man-Ye Kya Kar Rahe Ho SARDARJI.?

Sardar-Oye!

BREAK DANCE kar raha hoin.....

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tuje kya pata gum kise kahete hai?
arey tuje kya pata gum kise kahete hai?
tune to cellotape ko hi use kiya hai.

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Ek bar Sardar Gangubai ke ghar jata hai aur darwaja knock karta hai...
Gangubai:"Kaun?"
Sardar:"Main!"
Gangubai:"Main kaun?"
Sardar:"tu gangubai!!!!!"

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Hema, Rekha , sushma and jaya are 4 friends.They all got marriage proposal from Shah Rukh, Salman, Aamir and Saif. But none of them is ready to accept any of the proposal.

why?



















Kyunki....Hema, rekha ,jaya aur sushma... Sabki pasand NIRMAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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Baniya ask to Taxi Driver: CP wale gurudware jayega kya?
Taxi Driver: Han jaon ga.
Baniya ne jaib se lunchbox nikala or kaha:
Wapsi main langar ka khana lete aana.

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Tere Pyaar Mein Paagal Ho Gaya Peter ... . .

Waah! Waah! . .

Tere Pyaar Mein Paagal Ho Gaya Peter ... . .

Waah! Waah! . . .

Ab Hero Honda Splendor, 80 km Prati Litre .. !! _________________________________________________________________________

Bahaar Aane Se Pehle Fizaa Aa Gayii ... . .

Waah! Waah! . .

Bahaar Aane Se Pehle Fizaa Aa Gayii ... . .

Waah! Waah! . . .

Phool Ko Khilne Se Pehle Bakri Kha Gayii .. !! __________________________________________________________________________

Aatma Chhor Gayii Shareer Puraana ... . .

Waah! Waah! . .

Aatma Chhor Gayii Shareer Puraana ... . .

Waah! Waah! . . .

Didi Tera Devar Deewana .. !!

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Saap Ne Piya Bakri Ka Khoon ... . .

Waah! Waah! . .

Saap Ne Piya Bakri Ka Khoon ... . .

Waah! Waah! . . .

Good Afternoon! Good Afternoon! Good Afternoon!! _________________________________________________________________________


Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala ... . . .

Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala ... . . . . .

"Maa, Tata Sky Laga Daala To Life Jhingalala ..!!"

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Hoton Pe "Haan" Hai ...

Dil Mein "Naa" Hain ...

Hoton Pe "Haan" Hai ...

Dil Mein "Naa" Hain ...

Shashi Kapoor Kehta Hai: "Mere Paas Maa Hai ..."

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Premika: "Aisa Khatt Likho Sajna, Ki Meri Umar Beet Jaaye Padhne Mein ... " . . . .

Premi: "$@# % #$ @ $ %#$ &&* !@#@ &&*( )
(&% %#$% %#$%#$ !#@!# ?<":::<< $
%^$% %#%" @#@#!! ?#$%^ $#$%&
<< #%$%""}}+ !@??": @@#$$$?:@!!
Le Padh !!!"

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Ladkiyon ke college me strike thi,
Ladke bhi unke saath the
Ladkiyon ne naara lagaya.....HUMARI MAANGE
Pichhe se awaaz aayi SINDHUR SE BHARO….
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Baniya called a newspaper office and asked: Mera Chacha Mar gaya hai, kya charges hongay?
NewsPaper: Rs.50 per word.
Baniya: Oh bohat ziyada hain, Acha likho "Chacha Guzar Gaye".
Newspaper: Sir! It should be minimum 6 words!
Baniya: Oh ho! Jara sochnay do..... Acha likho....... ......... .
Chacha Guzar Gaye - Maruti for Sale .____________________________________________________________________

Titanic K Sath Baniya Bhi Doob Raha Tha
Aur Hans Bhi Raha Tha
Dost: Oye Hans Kyun Raha Hai?
Baniya: Shukar Hai Main Ne Return Ticket Nahi Khareeda ____________________________________________________________________

Durakht ke paymane pe chilman
E husn ka furkat se sharmana..
Durakht ke paymane pe chilman
E husn ka furkat se sharmana…
Ye line samajh me aaye to mujhe zaroor batana ____________________________________________________________________

Dil k dard ko zuba par laate nahi,
hum apni aankhon se ansu bahate nahi,
Zakhm chahe kitne hi gahre kyo na ho, ??
hum DETTOL k siva kuch laagate nahi. ____________________________________________________________________

Idhar bhi gum ho gaya,
udhar bhi gum ho gaya,
taliyan bajao yaron SHARE KHATAM HO GAYA. Wah kya sher maara hai
Sherni kon vidva kar daala hai _____________________________________________________________________

Maine tumse pyar kiya, tere baap ne mujhe pita
Maine tumse pyar kiya, tere baap ne mujhe pita
Tan ki shakti, man ki shakti, Bournvita __________________________________________________________________

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Dev: The future tense is "u will go to jail"
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Chiraag was filling up application form for a job. He was
not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote: Yes!
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Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in Punjab.
Inspector ballu & Chiraag have so far found 500 bodies and are still
digging for more..
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How do you recognize a Navin, when he is in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher
erases the board.
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2 Dost Suicide karne gae, Pahala : "Hey Bhagwan muje dunia ki saari
nafrat de Pareshani de Duk de!" Dusra dost : "Abe tu maut maang raha
hai ki Reliance mai Job.
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Chiraag to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao, Shopkeeper ne
Flag dikhaya, Chiraag : - Isme aur Colour Dikhao.
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Ballu : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When a
Person asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher
Studies Yaar...!!!
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Mayawati came to Lalu's House with a Goat.....
Lalu : Bhaiswa ko kyun Layi ho....??
Maya : Dikhta nahi, Goatwa hai..??
Lalu : Hum Goatwa se hi Puch raha Hun..!!
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Dev: If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two
days time?
Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.
Dev : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Dev : It's addressed to Mumbai.

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After Finishing MBBS, Dr. Munna Starts his practice. He Chcked 1st
patient eyes, tongue & ears by Torch
& finally said BOLE TO.......... TORCH THEEEEK HAI
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Ladka: Janeman is dil mein aaja.
Ladki: Sandal nikalu kya?
Ladka: Pagli mandir thodi hi hai, aise hi aaja!!

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Trevor goes to a TV shop and asks, 'Aap ke paas color TV hai kya?
' Haan' replies shopowner.
Trevor says, 'Ek hara vala dena!
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Chiraag: Doctor help me, mein jab baat karta huun to muje sirf awaaz
sunaideti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.

Dr: Aaisa kab hota hai?

Chiraag: Phone karte waqt.
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Once Dev rescued 6 people from a house burning on fire;
But still Dev was jailed, why?...............................


Because all the rescued persons were fire fighters!!!!

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TEACHER: Johny, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
Trevor: You told me to do it without using tables!
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TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
Ballu: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
Ballu: Yesterday you said it's H to O!

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What is Common between: Krishna, Ram, Gandhi ji & Jesus..?
Trevor Replied: All are born on Government Holidays.
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Ballu`s son: O God! Please make New York the capital of Punjab .
Ballu: Why are you praying for that?
Ballu`s son: That is what I have written in my exam. _________________________________________________________________

Ballu used 2 go 2 college on a donkey .......



after few years he had to go alone.....y ... .... ,.... .... ..
..

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the donkey finished graduation.....................................

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Interviewer: what is ur qualification?
Ballu : Sir I am Ph.d.
Interviewer : what do u mean by Ph.d?
Ballu : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY....

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Amitab : In which state Kaveri river flows?
Ballu : liquid state.....
Audience clapped.. Amitab stunned, looks behind, ALL WERE BALLU`s Friends.......

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Chiraag on an interview 4 da post detective.
Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?
Chiraag : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating.......

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Navin & Atul looking at Egyptian mummy.
Atul : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.
Navin : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!....
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Ballu at bar in New York.
Man on his right says 'Johny Walker single'
Man on his left says 'Peter Scotch single'
Ballu says - Balvinder Singh Married'

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Dev & Trevor are driving a Car, dev puts on the indicator and asks trevor to check whether its working, he puts his head out and says
YES...NO...YES...NO...YES... NO...

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Prince Charles & ballu were having dinner.
Prince said, 'Pass the wine you divine'.
Ballu thinks 'how poetic'
Ballu says, 'pass the custard you bastard'. ___________________________________________________________________


Teacher asked Trevor: What is d meaning of TAMSO MAA JYOTIR GAMAYA? Trevor: Tu so ja maa, main Jyoti de ghar ho k aya. ____________________________________________________________________________________ Police: "Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phaasi di jayegi."
Dev: "Ha Ha Ha Ha!"
Police: "Kyon hasn rahe ho?"
Dev : "Main to uththa hi subha 9 baje hun." ___________________________________________________________________


Hitler says,
"There is no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary." Trevor says: "Ab bolne se kya faayda? Jub kharidi thi tab hi check
karna tha na."

_____________________________________________________________________ Chiraag ki chatri me hole tha,
Ballu ne pucha, "Umbrella me hole kyun?"
Chiraag bola, "Oye barish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega?" ___________________________________________________________________________________

Aisi Kaunsi Movie hai, jisme "ANIL KAPOOR" nahi dikhai deta?????
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Mr.India????.................... nahi.....u r wrong...

thodha aur guess karo

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"LAGAAN"............usme dikha kya................ :)


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Paani ko uloo kaise baney????

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Ushe garam karey aur nahne na jaye.....................


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Ek Soldier ki wife stairs chad rahi thi, toh usse kya kahoge?????

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"Chadti jawaani"

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A very funny quote:-

Come like a horse,
Sit like a thief,
Go like a king......
- Slogan for toilet door
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Ek aadmi zebra crossing pe bar bar cross kar raha tha....... toh doosre aadmi ne poucha, arey bhai yeh kya kar rahe ho kab se????/

toh us aadmi ne jawaab diya...saala kab se try kar raha hoin yeh piano bhaj hi nahi raha........

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Aadmi (to auto rickshawala): Bandra se Andheri Jaane ka kitna logey???

Auto rickshawala: Rs. 110/-

Aadmi:- Pagal hai kya, Rs10/- mein chalta hai kya????

Auto rickshawala:- Tum pagal ho kya, Rs.10/- rupiye mein kaun leke jayega!!!!!

Aadmi:- Tu piche beth, main leke chalta hoin................. :)

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Teacher (In nursery class) :- "A" for.....

Students:- "Apple"

Teacher:- jor se bolo.....

Students:- "Jai Mata Di"

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Once, Chiraag, Trevor & Ballu decided to go on a picnic.

When they got there, they realized that they had forgotten the soda.

Chiraag said he would go home & get it if they wouldn't eat the snacks until he got back.



Trevor & Ballu agreed to wait patiently.



An hour went by,

Then a Day,

followed by a week,

a month,

finally a year...



Ballu & Trevor said

'oh, come on, let's eat the snacks'

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Suddenly Chiraag popped up from behind a rock and said

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'If you do like this, I won't go.' :) _________________________________________________________________

Q) What is the name of a man having Six guns???

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Answer:- "Chhagan"......hehehehehe ________________________________________________________________